It’s about starting over . com

Well, I’ve finally done it. I’ve found a way to turn procrastination into something worthwhile.

Since receiving my “wake-up call” a short time ago, I’ve been increasing the amount of weight-bearing exercise I do. It helps to increase bone density and is just plain good for one’s health anyway, so why not?

 So, how does procrastination come into the picture?

It’s wait-bearing exercise! (groan…)

One I do all too often.

School starts tomorrow, wish me luck!

I recently heard that a member of our local folk community is seriously ill to the point where she needs personal care in hospital. Though I don’t know her well, she is someone who has always impressed me as being one of the kindest souls, a deeply beautiful person. Certainly not someone who deserves to suffer. Before I continue, let me say that I pray for her full and speedy recovery–she deserves that and so much more.

No, I’m not one of those people who believes that no one deserves to suffer. The news of her illness touched me deeply and painfully. It got me thinking about justice, about the concept of a righteous G-d, the idea of heaven and hell and that question that some of us so frequently lament: Why do bad things happen to good people?

Empathy and understanding

I wrote to a close friend of this woman, expressing empathy for the sorrow and pain I know they must both be feeling right now. She wrote back saying that I, “…of all people, can understand these deeply painful, long-term sicknesses that “life” puts on our plate to help us in our spiritual and moral growth…………..”

The truth is that I don’t understand. I don’t understand and it makes me angry when kind, wonderful people like this woman end up ill and suffering. It isn’t fair, not on any level. So, is there fairness in this world and this life? Did someone or some entity promise us at some point that, as long as we are good, we’ll be treated fairly?

Epiphany

This calls to mind a conversation I had with someone at Jacob’s Ladder about two years ago. A stranger to me, she introduced herself saying that she had heard about me Continue Reading »

People keep telling me that I’m courageous. I’ve even been referred to as “A Woman of Valor,” and people often tell me that they envy my bravery. The truth is that I’m really not that brave. As a matter of fact, I’m frequently very frightened.

What makes me different from you? Most likely nothing. When you decide to do something, you do it and so do I. You might say, yeah, but not anything like what you’re doing (going back to school at the age of 50+, starting a new career as a performing songwriter, bootstrapping all the time). Well, we all start somewhere, don’t we? And usually, we start with the small things. At the very least, when you open your eyes in the morning, you decide to get out of bed, right? And then you do. Everything you do throughout each and every day of your life involves first making a decision to do something, then doing it, right? Things that we do that we don’t need to decide to do first include breathing, having your heart pump blood throughout your body, and, well, you get the idea.

All this decision making followed by doing is exactly what I’ve done, what I’m doing. No, sometimes the decisions aren’t easy and yes, sometimes they’re frightening. But if you have a dream you want to follow and you feel insecure about your ability to do it, or your ability to make a decision and follow through, start by noticing the small, everyday decisions you do make and follow through on. Then try bigger, more daring ones and watch yourself blossem! You will because you can. I know this because I’ve been there and I’m doing it. And like I always say, if I can, you can.

Balance of desire

Of course, there’s always the question of how badly  you want something. It’s always a balance of desire vs what we view as sacrifice, either ours or someone else’s, weighed against potential gain. We usually decide NOT to do something if we feel that the sacrifice, or worse, the potential sacrifice, will be too much. For example, if you want to go to school but it means that the whole family will have to relocate, and every effort and decision will need to take your studies into consideration first and foremost for the next four or so years, from the smallest ones (like what food you can afford) to the larger ones (what school will your children attend)–if you or your family feel that the sacrifice is too large when compared to the benefits, you’ll probably decide not to do it.

One of the differences between myself and some of you who may be reading this is that my children are grown and independent, and I have no spouse to consider. This does provide a certain freedom, but age and mind set (yes, mine and other’s) also can provide a block to action. Many people feel that they are limited by the outlook of others regarding older people (ha ha, that term is so funny to me!) It’s not entirely unfounded, but of all the things that will limit you (and let’s be real, there will be some), you shouldn’t let that be one.

People will relate to you as you relate to yourself

I’ve found that people tend to relate a person much in the same way that the person relates to him or herself. So if you’re “older,” and you go into an exciting challenge thinking to yourself that you’re old and you have no right to make this attempt, others will relate to you as such. If you relate to yourself as ageless, intelligent and talented, and you go in feeling, and I mean REALLY feeling all the way to your marrow that you’re so lucky to be able to do the things you’ve decided to do, and you anticipate a fantastic adventure, others will most likely relate to you in the same manner! This being the case, there probably will be a few people who don’t relate to you as the wonderful, deserving pserson you are anyway. And now a few words about those choice people: (censored ).

Am I courageous and brave? Maybe. Am I afraid sometimes? *ell YES! Am I going to back down or give up? *ell NO!

And now the big question:

What is it that you would like to do?