Aug 18 2007
About this blog
It’s about starting over
Although my own struggle with cancer had equipped me with the tools to deal with my husband’s illness, nothing could have prepared me for the immense sadness and crushing grief that engulfed me the moment he died. Luckily, I had some really supportive friends, and via a local Yahoo Group, someone I don’t even know referred me to a bereavement counselor. Through this amazing woman I learned that I wasn’t going crazy - I was just experiencing a very intense, yet very normal reaction called grief.
I breathed a sigh of relief and, just like when I had to face chemotherapy I told myself, Okay, this is where I am right now and this is what I’m doing. I stopped thinking about the money troubles that had been brought on by my husband’s 2 1/2 year illness - I knew they’d wait for me just like the dust-bunnies under my bed, and allowed myself to grieve. I allowed myself to miss him, to mourn the life we would never have together, and to sink into my grief knowing that soon enough, it would be time to climb out and rejoin life.
Six months later, I performed at the Jacob’s Ladder Folk Festival. I wanted to do it for several reasons - to honor and represent my husband (he had been a regular there for many years and I sang some of his originals), to re-enter life, and to force myself to practice. I had had no desire to play guitar, sing or write for almost two years, and this did the trick - once I made the commitment, I had to prepare. But when there, I fell into what many might call a dark night of the soul that sent me into hiding for a full week. It was the darkest, most difficult place I have ever been - I just couldn’t comprehend how the festival, no, LIFE could go on without my husband. But on the eighth day, a series of coincidences led me to an epiphany and I took the first steps toward creating my new life - I began starting over.
This blog is dedicated to all of you who would like to start over
This blog is dedicated to any and everyone who would like to start over, to find new fulfillment in life. Here, I will open my life and share with you the experiences, both good and bad, that have led me to my current journey, my new adventure. I invite you to join me by reading along as, at the age of 51 (now 52 
), I pursue my life-long dream. It is my hope that my words will provide inspiration to you, and encourage you to take the steps necessary to identify, pursue and achieve your dreams, and to live a fulfilling life regardless of the hardships you have had to endure.
In this blog, you will find stories of my past and posts about my present. By sharing my experiences with you, I hope to encourage and inspire you to determine what it is you really want to do in this life. When you read the pages and posts, you will see that you truly do have the power to make changes and to take the steps necessary to accomplish your dreams and desires, and maybe even to help others along the way. Why? Because if I can do it, you can do it.
So stay tuned. As this blog develops, I’ll add more information to this page.
See you at It’s about starting over!
Joanna
I love the template of this blog - very simple, neat, and easy to read.
You are very brave, and incredibly strong,
it’s hard to imagine all of those tragedies you have described happening to one person…
I’m looking forward to your musical premier at the TAFC.
BigMIke…
I am So Lucky That I found your blog and great articles. I will come to your blog often for finding new great articles from your blog.I am adding your rss feed in my reader Thank you…
bereavement…
There is obviously a lot more than this. Would you mind telling me how long it took you to gather your content?…
Hi bereavement (you didn’t leave your name),
I guess you could say it took me about fifty years! And I’m still in the process. In other words, this is my life–I’m sharing it with others via my blog so that people can see that, no matter how bad it is, you CAN choose to start over, and you can follow through on that choice. No, it’s not always easy, and sometimes it’s really, really hard, but it is possible.
Joanna
Dear Joanna,
No, not silly at all! I am also starting over, just by living here again after 31 years in the States. As I have started getting to know people in this wonderful, warm folk community, I keep reminding myself: If I had not gone back to Northern California the year my father passed away (1978), I’d have stayed in Israel and would not be going through this business of starting over in a new home, at a new job, making new friends.
While I have not personally experienced the level of trauma you have endured, I think I am a semi-landsman in that I was with my dearest friend, nearly 20 years ago, when she discovered her six-year-old daughter had been repeatedly molested and then silenced with threats of more physical harm, all of this by a close, trusted family friend. I sat with her at his trial, and several years later, saw how it again tore her life apart when she learned he was being paroled. She moved far away from the home and friends she loved, to a place where he would never find her; yet she still lives with the guilt of not knowing and stopping him, and still suffers intrusions to this day. She now has a degenerative physical disorder for which there is no cure, and all I can do is talk to her sometimes on the phone. It is still very difficult.
You are truly amazing, Joanna, for your positive spirit, and to have accomplished so much. Thank you for sharing your story.
Hi, Joanna,
Thank you for putting things into proportion for me!
Five and a half years ago, I “started over”, moving my family to a new town, and beginning to take charge of my life. The emotional turmoil I was in before that seems like a walk in the park compared to what you’ve been through.
I am truly blessed. I have found a wonderful, amazing life-coach and a business organization that’s more like a family, I’m improving myself, slowly but surely, and I’m out to make all my dreams and goals a reality.
Your blog is a true inspiration. I will visit it often.
By the way, I’m 52, too.
Deena Lari
personal wellness coach
Nice article. Kudos to you for sharing your knowledge.
Hi Joanna, AJ here, Executive assistant to Kevin Abdulrahman, who is an International Author and Motivational Speaker.
This month, Kevin is on a tour around the world speaking to women groups and helping to further empower them to live the life they want and dream. He is making his book available to all women groups in order to make a BIG and positive impact.
His work revolves around Mind Nutrition, helping individuals attain A Winning Mind and Lead From Within.
If you would like to read his book and share it (at no cost) with all the women you know around the world, then drop me an email, and I will have an electronic version sent to you.
It’s his way of paying it forward.
In friendship
AJ, executive assistant to Kevin Abdulrahman
Hi Aj,
Thank you! I would love to give it a read. I’ll be in touch offline and we can take it from there.
Best,
Joanna