It’s about starting over . com

Are you a landsman?

Landsman: (From Yiddish): 

“A person from the same town, geographical area, region, etc., as another; compatriot.”

Or, in my words, someone who has travelled the same ground that you have.

I have a friend who is a landsman. I’m referring to the fact that we are adults who were violently abused as children. We, unfortunately, sometimes refer to others as being “one of us” meaning that they are adults who were also abused as children or, simply put, landsmen.

There are things about us, things we all have in common, that others just can’t understand. They say things like, “okay, so you were abused…big deal. Move on. Get over it.” Obviously, not a landsman.

One of the things we have in common is a sort of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) thing where a trigger will set off an old reaction. If you’re a landsman, this will sound familiar. If you’re not, then here’s your chance to begin to understand.

Here’s a recent example of how it plays out for me, along with a solution that someone, an aMAZing someone, suggested to me. Continue Reading »

What is the difference between just another news item and a tragedy? Possibly the distance from “home,” home being one’s personal life.

Too close to home

On Thursday, I heard an awful item on the news (I was listening to music on the radio, and just this once, I listened when the news came on): A man had shot and killed his wife and two children, then he shot and killed himself. Both the man and his wife were police officers, one child was three years old, the other, not even two months. What initially brought this close to home was the fact that it happened in their apartment, which is only a few minutes away from where I live. All of a sudden, it was a little more than just another tragic news item. I was shocked, but after a while, only astonishment remained. I thought, “What a horrible thing.”

Not too close to home

Late Friday, the information came through–the man who had done this is the son of someone I know. I had met him, his wife and his children at another tragic event just over a year ago, the shiva for his father, who had just committed suicide. All of a sudden, it wasn’t too close to home– Continue Reading »

I just saw the movie 100 Feet. It opens mysteriously, but very quickly we realize that Marnie Watson, the protagonist, is an abused wife who has murdered her abusive policeman husband. She’s been convicted of the crime and is being transferred from jail to her home where she’ll serve the remainder of her sentence under house arrest. An ankle bracelet is affixed and she cannot move more than 100 feet from the main signal receiver for more than three minutes or the police will be notified.

Plot spoiler

Don’t read on if you intend to see the movie–I am about to reveal the rest of the plot.

Ghost story or statement about abuse?

What I thought might be a look into the lives of the abused turned out to be a ghost story…but wait…it did turn out to be a poignant look into the lives of the abused, just not in a blatantly obvious way. Marnie is confined to Continue Reading »