It’s about starting over . com

Hints of stories lie in the places where the broom doesn’t reach. Shards of dishes that slipped from hands, chunks of glasses dropped in shock, thrown in anger. They lie there as secrets, stories of the deeply shamed. Can anything ever clear them away? Do I want to clear them away?

If we walk there they pierce our feet, our bareness, and bury themselves in our flesh. Safe and uncaring in their proper place, they pain immense when we press on them. So we avoid them at all costs, treading lightly or not at all…and they fester.

They fester like the secrets that hide in those corners, away from eyes, questions, brooms.

My shards will out, one way or another, in song, poem, love, loss, illness…

And when they do, they will hurt again and again and again until finally, they fade like a vampire in the light of day and no longer are the primary colors of my being.

So I move the furniture and cupboards while listening to a Cheryl Wheeler tune (she has a way!) and gather the shards of memory, sweep them into the dustpan and throw them into the bin. Out is out.

My sweet kitten jumps onto my lap.

I want to drink the finest Champaign
(pink and delicate with a bubble-strand threading up the center)
from an old jam jar or a great big, completely inappropriate glass.

I want to suck in great swills of the stuff as if it were nothing more than water,
nothing less than life
and as trivial as air itself.

And I want to surf great waves of ecstasy without a board,
my body surging forward atop a great, foaming crest of joy,
hands of magical star-stuff kneading my belly all the way.

And when it’s over,
my knees weak and toes trying to grip wet sand,
my body experiencing gravity as a strange thing,
the words surge from my mouth,
uncontrollably,
like when you were born–

AGAIN! MORE!

Arms flailing, I turn and run from the beach to brave the tidals once again.

This is one of my favorite poems. I used to have it hanging in the upper corner of my bathroom mirror so that I would see it at least twice every day. I think I’ll print it out and hang it there again because it’s filled with such beautiful, sage advice.

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste
and remember what peace there may be in silence
As far as possible without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others;
even the dull and ignorant, for they too have their story
Avoid loud and aggressive persons for they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble, Continue Reading »